comfort
Can't believe my last post was in August? Okay, I mean, it's not THAT long ( I've done longer before ) but still, feels like forever since that post happened.
I'm going to be complaining about work again. I mean, that's all I can complain about these days isn't it? I'm so mentally drained by my work and emotionally drained too. Even tho it's a one year contract, I already can't wait for it to end and I want to get out of here so badly.
The other say I overheard someone mentioning that a new RA just quitted and that really made me wanna quit too. I'm just holding on cause I made a promise to myself that I shall not run away when times are tough, not anymore.
With that said, things are starting to get a little better here cause at least now I've got stuff to do but you now, procrastination. Which is why I'm typing this right now. God. I love writing – also, something I would have never expected myself to say ten years ago. NEVER. I guess this has mostly got to do with the fact that my command of language have gotten better in the last ten years. Much better than before. To think about it, ten years ago I was only 12. OH. MY. GOD. 12. WHAT. I was only 12 ten years ago?! Wow, where have all the time gone? I've been through so much?!!??!
I mean, I finished my PSLE, my O levels, my Diploma and I'm finishing my degree in another year. Wow. I guess a lot of things can really happen in 10 years. Winnie is like...7 years older than me? Which is more than half of the 10 years & I honestly cannot imagine how the next 7 years will play out.
I wonder what would the next decade bring. It feels like such a long ride tho. Slipping in and out of depression, anxiety and suicide thoughts.... okay suicide thoughts is like an everyday thing now tho. Maybe suicide is not the right word, more like death. Thoughts about being dead and wishes to be dead. It feels like I've been alive for too long. Perhaps, just perhaps, humans are not meant to live such a long life. Yet some love to play god and tried to extend the lifespan. Perhaps that's why even tho that we are living longer, everyone never seem to be happy with their life. Everyone wants more out of their life but even if they have more, the sense of unsatisfactory will always be there.
Okay, shall stop procrastinating and get back to real work. Also, I'm looking for people who would send me photos to edit. I need some distractions in life and editing is one of them. So if anyone has any photos that needs a little retouch, feel free to send it to me or something. (I'm not a pro tho.) september19@live.co.uk, it'll keep me distracted.
I'm going to be complaining about work again. I mean, that's all I can complain about these days isn't it? I'm so mentally drained by my work and emotionally drained too. Even tho it's a one year contract, I already can't wait for it to end and I want to get out of here so badly.
The other say I overheard someone mentioning that a new RA just quitted and that really made me wanna quit too. I'm just holding on cause I made a promise to myself that I shall not run away when times are tough, not anymore.
With that said, things are starting to get a little better here cause at least now I've got stuff to do but you now, procrastination. Which is why I'm typing this right now. God. I love writing – also, something I would have never expected myself to say ten years ago. NEVER. I guess this has mostly got to do with the fact that my command of language have gotten better in the last ten years. Much better than before. To think about it, ten years ago I was only 12. OH. MY. GOD. 12. WHAT. I was only 12 ten years ago?! Wow, where have all the time gone? I've been through so much?!!??!
I mean, I finished my PSLE, my O levels, my Diploma and I'm finishing my degree in another year. Wow. I guess a lot of things can really happen in 10 years. Winnie is like...7 years older than me? Which is more than half of the 10 years & I honestly cannot imagine how the next 7 years will play out.
I wonder what would the next decade bring. It feels like such a long ride tho. Slipping in and out of depression, anxiety and suicide thoughts.... okay suicide thoughts is like an everyday thing now tho. Maybe suicide is not the right word, more like death. Thoughts about being dead and wishes to be dead. It feels like I've been alive for too long. Perhaps, just perhaps, humans are not meant to live such a long life. Yet some love to play god and tried to extend the lifespan. Perhaps that's why even tho that we are living longer, everyone never seem to be happy with their life. Everyone wants more out of their life but even if they have more, the sense of unsatisfactory will always be there.
Okay, shall stop procrastinating and get back to real work. Also, I'm looking for people who would send me photos to edit. I need some distractions in life and editing is one of them. So if anyone has any photos that needs a little retouch, feel free to send it to me or something. (I'm not a pro tho.) september19@live.co.uk, it'll keep me distracted.
