Humility
The most dumbfounding thing just happened and I'm so confused right now.
For a very long time, I've always considered myself as a humble person. I really do. Yet somewhere along the way, I guess I lost that. I became arrogant even without realising it.
Just had a good and fruitful talk with my Prof and I guess amongst all the talks I've had with her, this is the best? Like at least SOMETHING got thru this time.
She mentioned how I was unwilling to learn, how I wasn't willing to use my brains and think and how I'm pretty arrogant. Weird. Cause she's probably the first person who says that to me. hahaah.
I mean, I'm not feeling bad about it but here's the thing, no one have ever told me my negatives and she's the first. I'm actually REALLY glad she did? Like at least now I know why everyone has been so distance from me. Cause I'm a bloody bitch who doesn't take criticism. Wow. Never knew such day would come.
I know there are instances where I refuse to listen because I know I am right but after this conversation, it just got me thinking that perhaps it's just my arrogance that's playing the part. Maybe it's me after all. Maybe that's the reason why I can make friends very easily but they don't stay. Cause I'm a "know it all". Which is weird cause tbh, I don't feel that way. I feel like I don't know anything at all. So whenever someone says that to me, I don't get why do they think I know everything when I don't. & its even weirder when no one actually corrects me when I'm wrong like, why won't you correct me?! ...okay, maybe they know it's cause that even if they do try to correct me, I'd try to correct them back. Sigh.
This just make me miss Phil. He's probably the only one who would try and convince me otherwise. Part of me is trying to learn but another part of me really wonder how. I mean, there's no guidebooks to things like that and there's no step by step manual to it. So how the hell am I going to learn to be humble if I don't even really know what kind of things would a humble person do?
You know what, nvm. I'm so emotionally drained.
For a very long time, I've always considered myself as a humble person. I really do. Yet somewhere along the way, I guess I lost that. I became arrogant even without realising it.
Just had a good and fruitful talk with my Prof and I guess amongst all the talks I've had with her, this is the best? Like at least SOMETHING got thru this time.
She mentioned how I was unwilling to learn, how I wasn't willing to use my brains and think and how I'm pretty arrogant. Weird. Cause she's probably the first person who says that to me. hahaah.
I mean, I'm not feeling bad about it but here's the thing, no one have ever told me my negatives and she's the first. I'm actually REALLY glad she did? Like at least now I know why everyone has been so distance from me. Cause I'm a bloody bitch who doesn't take criticism. Wow. Never knew such day would come.
I know there are instances where I refuse to listen because I know I am right but after this conversation, it just got me thinking that perhaps it's just my arrogance that's playing the part. Maybe it's me after all. Maybe that's the reason why I can make friends very easily but they don't stay. Cause I'm a "know it all". Which is weird cause tbh, I don't feel that way. I feel like I don't know anything at all. So whenever someone says that to me, I don't get why do they think I know everything when I don't. & its even weirder when no one actually corrects me when I'm wrong like, why won't you correct me?! ...okay, maybe they know it's cause that even if they do try to correct me, I'd try to correct them back. Sigh.
This just make me miss Phil. He's probably the only one who would try and convince me otherwise. Part of me is trying to learn but another part of me really wonder how. I mean, there's no guidebooks to things like that and there's no step by step manual to it. So how the hell am I going to learn to be humble if I don't even really know what kind of things would a humble person do?
You know what, nvm. I'm so emotionally drained.
