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They say drinking is a bad habit. It kills your liver, causes hangover, make you more vulnerable.
The euphoria, high and less guarded version of you after alcohol.

Honestly, I don't know what am I typing right now but I do know one thing which is I'm feeling really blue right now.
It's valentine's today but I really don't want to spend valentine's alone today.
I've never really bothered about this but this year, I just don't feel like spending it alone this year.

I want to be in your arms, be with you and just be close to you.
I know I screwed up yesterday.
I know I screwed up the day before.
I know I screwed up.

Part of my is really afraid right now.
Like this would end cause I screwed up.
I won't even lie but I did end up liking you more than I expected myself to.
Except yesterday.

I wasn't mad cause you were drunk/high but I was mad cause you were happier with someone else.
I was mad cause Shermaine and you had so much fun but I was left aside.
I wanted you to myself and that was selfish of me but I just can't help it.
Yes you made it up to me by kissing me but that moment I just can't feel it anymore.
For that moment I just can't feel you wanting me as much as before.

& the moment you left, I wasn't the last person you hugged.
Everything just felt so......fake.
Like you're just doing it cause you felt obligated to do so?
Maybe my mind was just making up things and all but I guess I just really couldn't stand jealousy.

& I guess this is the part where my insecurities kick in thinking that you might just not want me anymore tomorrow.
I can't help but to fear that maybe tomorrow I'll mean nothing to you.
Maybe you'll be sick of me by tomorrow.
Maybe you won't even be here anymore after tomorrow.

I want to tell you how much I like you but what if this was just me alone all along.
I don't want this to end, that's why I don't want to say anything.
I don't want this to end and I really don't know why am I being like this again.

Okay fine, I should really stop thinking so much about it.
*If it's meant to be, it will be.*

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