page 67
Contemplating if I should blog or if I should write and here I am. hey yo.
Well, quick life update........
Okay, enough of the stressful things that I don't want to think about. Happy thoughts? QING YANG HAS A GIRLFRIEND NOW. OMG. QY. OMG. He has been single all these while and omg, his gf fits into our clique sooooooooo perfectly. It's like we've known her for so long and she just fits right in. You know you've found the right one when your partner fits in so perfectly with your friends. That is probably one of the best thing ever. To be accepted by your partner's friends. I'm so fucking happy for Qingyang. I guess I'm happy for anyone who's in our clique to find a partner. All of these lovely people deserves to be loved so much. Can't wait for everyone to find their partner. Awwww.
Moving on, I'm really amazed by how oddly my brain works. It's like one moment I could be here thinking that I'm still single and unwanted, the next moment I am there thinking that emotions/feelings/relationships are all overrated. Oh, usually what comes after that is how messed up I am to actually be able to switch from one to another within a minute. The logical and emotional side of me is constantly in a battle and there's just this third part of me who's just tired from all these fight and just wish that one of them could just take over and stop fighting. I swear on some days I just feel like I'm a total emotional wreck and I'm just purely crazy and I need a therapist more than anything else. Then the next moment I'll find myself convincing myself that I'm not crazy and I don't really need help because my life is not really that hindered by it.
Does anyone even understand how this feels? I feel like such a crazy person and how can a crazy person like me be wanted or loved? I'm so used to being by myself, convincing myself, psyching myself I don't think I even know how it's like to be normal. Maybe I am crazy after all. It's so hard to determine what is the norm cause let's just face it, who's actually "normal" in this world? It kills me every time I think about it but it always goes down to this questions of "am I mental?"
Going away from the topic, slept for like probably a total of 4-5hrs in the past 36hrs and I'm still not going back to bed. sigh. I don't know. I'm just in the mood to type an essay that no one would read. I'm so fucking tired but honestly, can I just sleep and never wake up? cause I need something to look forward to and no, I have nothing to look forward to. I mean, I don't mind not going Korea for a week, not running Standard charted Marathon 2014, not going Zoukout SG, not going the guys' POP.............okay, that's pretty much all I can think of now.
Someone bring me to Taiwan please, Hongye doesn't feel like he's really into Taiwan & Sheng yang ditched me now I'm probably back to planning solo trip to Taiwan. MAYBE I SHOULD JUST BUY A TICKET AND FLY THERE MYSELF.
...okay, next year birthday I shall start small and plan a trip to Taiwan for my 21st. Slowly build it up and I'll spend my 25th in London. hehhehe. Don't even know what's my plan after 21st, I really need a guidance light so badly right now. Like someone just tell me what should I do instead of me trying to figure it out. sigh.
and yes, I'm still trying to find someone to talk to and someone who would take me this emotional train wreck home. Someone who won't give up on me and think that I'm too much of a emotional person to be taken in. Someone who would share their joy and sorrow with me and someone who would make me feel like I want to wake up the next day cause I want to talk to that person. good night I guess.
Well, quick life update........
- Qingyang has a gf now & waiting to enlist!!
- Shien Kai, Mai Can, Ben, Phil are now enlisted into Tekong!
- Jiing Harn's going to study private in SIM about Banking & Finance
- Jacq's getting over Timothy & studying
- Pheeb's is still with Khai & studying
- Sheryl's working full time in a clinic now
- Liqin's Studying & crazy into Cheer
- Qing Bin's still a NSF & got in pharmaceutical in NUS
- Rejected by SCDF
- No news from UWA (PSB)
- Still working part-time at H&M
- Still single
- Not in luck or even trying to get a full time job
Okay, enough of the stressful things that I don't want to think about. Happy thoughts? QING YANG HAS A GIRLFRIEND NOW. OMG. QY. OMG. He has been single all these while and omg, his gf fits into our clique sooooooooo perfectly. It's like we've known her for so long and she just fits right in. You know you've found the right one when your partner fits in so perfectly with your friends. That is probably one of the best thing ever. To be accepted by your partner's friends. I'm so fucking happy for Qingyang. I guess I'm happy for anyone who's in our clique to find a partner. All of these lovely people deserves to be loved so much. Can't wait for everyone to find their partner. Awwww.
Moving on, I'm really amazed by how oddly my brain works. It's like one moment I could be here thinking that I'm still single and unwanted, the next moment I am there thinking that emotions/feelings/relationships are all overrated. Oh, usually what comes after that is how messed up I am to actually be able to switch from one to another within a minute. The logical and emotional side of me is constantly in a battle and there's just this third part of me who's just tired from all these fight and just wish that one of them could just take over and stop fighting. I swear on some days I just feel like I'm a total emotional wreck and I'm just purely crazy and I need a therapist more than anything else. Then the next moment I'll find myself convincing myself that I'm not crazy and I don't really need help because my life is not really that hindered by it.
Does anyone even understand how this feels? I feel like such a crazy person and how can a crazy person like me be wanted or loved? I'm so used to being by myself, convincing myself, psyching myself I don't think I even know how it's like to be normal. Maybe I am crazy after all. It's so hard to determine what is the norm cause let's just face it, who's actually "normal" in this world? It kills me every time I think about it but it always goes down to this questions of "am I mental?"
Going away from the topic, slept for like probably a total of 4-5hrs in the past 36hrs and I'm still not going back to bed. sigh. I don't know. I'm just in the mood to type an essay that no one would read. I'm so fucking tired but honestly, can I just sleep and never wake up? cause I need something to look forward to and no, I have nothing to look forward to. I mean, I don't mind not going Korea for a week, not running Standard charted Marathon 2014, not going Zoukout SG, not going the guys' POP.............okay, that's pretty much all I can think of now.
Someone bring me to Taiwan please, Hongye doesn't feel like he's really into Taiwan & Sheng yang ditched me now I'm probably back to planning solo trip to Taiwan. MAYBE I SHOULD JUST BUY A TICKET AND FLY THERE MYSELF.
...okay, next year birthday I shall start small and plan a trip to Taiwan for my 21st. Slowly build it up and I'll spend my 25th in London. hehhehe. Don't even know what's my plan after 21st, I really need a guidance light so badly right now. Like someone just tell me what should I do instead of me trying to figure it out. sigh.
and yes, I'm still trying to find someone to talk to and someone who would take me this emotional train wreck home. Someone who won't give up on me and think that I'm too much of a emotional person to be taken in. Someone who would share their joy and sorrow with me and someone who would make me feel like I want to wake up the next day cause I want to talk to that person. good night I guess.
